The Top Ten Shortlist of World’s Funniest Crab Joke 2024!

A) What do you call a red crab piggybacking another red crab all around the town? A double-decapod

B) A horseshoe crab walks into a bar. “Why the ventral face?" the bartender asks... The crab replies “mind your own business and please tip a pint of lager and a packet of crisps onto the pub carpet" 

C) How did the crab get out of prison?  It used it's escape claws

D) Why didn't the crab help the chicken cross the road? Because it was eaten by a pelican crossing

E) What did the sea urchin say to the Crab? Please sir, can I have some claw?

F) What format do you have to save photos of crab soup onto? Floppy bisque

G) Man walks into a restaurant with a crab under his arm and says ‘do you make crab cakes’? Manager answers ‘yes, we do’. ‘Good’ says the man. ‘because it’s his birthday’

H) How do barnacles get around? A taxi crab

I) Why did the crab cross the road? It didn’t. It used the sidewalk

J) Why did the crab get bad grades? Because it was below C level!

This years winner was:

Man walks into a restaurant with a crab under his arm and says ‘do you make crab cakes’? Manager answers ‘yes, we do’. ‘Good’ says the man. ‘because it’s his birthday’

Submitted by Leon Price (age 50)

The 2024 judging panel included: Sally Phillips, Harry Hill, Rose Matafeo, Phil Wang, No Such Thing As A Fish podcast, Mike Stirling (Director of Mischief at Beano), Ella Al-Shamahi, Lucy Cooke, and a classroom of kids at Ramsgate Arts Primary School. Plus a mystery judge to be announced soon!